The Worth Percent

                I learned one lesson tonight in two intensely different ways. One really was inspiring, while the other lesson was extremely painful. What is the lesson I learned tonight? Well it is important to know one of my biggest weaknesses in faith is still, to trust and expect that God will provide for me. Tonight I truly did learn that God does provide for me, and protects me against my own stupidity and selfishness.

                In core tonight we went on a walk thinking about all the things we were worried about and what we want God to help us with. I thought about a few things, one of them being how I am so worried in leading these men and being scared about leading Core. I don’t feel ready or worthy to help Him, in His work here at Western, but He asks me to do it anyways. So leading core and pointing these guys to Christ really worries me. The other thing was more trivial and that was if I would ever be able to find the watchtower in the dark. Eventually we found the watchtower and then the real change began.

                By now I thought I had identified what I am most afraid to ask God for, but little did I know that was not the case. Sitting in core thinking about trusting God I realized that I don’t trust God to help me almost anything. I have been relying on my own understanding and my own work for the last 2 years and what has that gotten me? Nothing. I have gained nothing from only relying on myself especially in school work. I have only caused myself stress and anxiety, as well as making me self-conscious and I had begun to define my worth by how I did on exam day. The grade that I get on a test has been what I would like to call my worth percent. Basically I have been basing my self-worth only on my performance.

                I should be basing my worth on Christ’s love for me which is always at a worth percent of 100. Worrying about the future doesn’t change it just causes my faith to be small, and brittle. Decided to share this with the core but when I began to speak my thoughts didn’t so really exit my mouth but the answer to my question of what am I really worth did. I said “God doesn’t care what we have to give Him. It doesn’t matter if we can do well on something or get a good score in school because He loves us and that is all he asks for in return.” There was my answer. I am worth a lot in the eyes of God because he sent his son to die for my sins. I am important and God watches over me not because of what I have done but because of what He has done for me.

                Clearly that should have spoken to me but on my way home I started to get depressed about my score on my latest chemistry test. I ended up getting home and calling my Mom to talk about it. That helped a little but I left the call feeling empty and hopeless. I prayed asking God to bring me out of my depression and help me. On the edge of tears I texted Sarah telling her what I was experiencing all I got back were 4 pictures each with a different verse on them

                ‘Cast your anxiety on him because he cares for you.’ 1 Peter 5:7

                ‘What, then, shall we say in response to this? If our God is for us then who can be against us?’ Romans 8: 31

                ‘For I know the plans I have for you; declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ Jeremiah 29:11

                ‘Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day I sits own trouble.’ Matthew 6:34

                Needless to say I broke down and cried. I was so thankful for a God who would use someone in my life like Sarah to comfort me, and that his words would now have such a large impact on my well-being’ and how I looked at myself. Most importantly is that when I was at my lowest he heard my cry for help and rescued me from my self-destructive thoughts and fears.

                Basically I now know without a measure of a doubt that God doesn’t keep track of how much I am worth in the eyes of the world. He loves me because I am worth everything to Him. That makes me so humble and joyful. Ready to take on the world and I am so thankful for who he is.

Blessed is the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,

Cyrus Schaaf

A Scout is Loving

I have a few things to say in response to the resent decision about homosexuals in the Boy Scouts of America). I will include a link to the news articles about this change below. First, I need to tell everyone little more about my experiences with Scouting. I joined the BSA as a cub scout in the 3^rd grade. It was fun we ran around tied knots and got pins for doing little tasks. I eventually graduated to the Boy Scouts and got my Arrow of Light when I was 11. I have been involved in scouts ever since. I got my eagle on February 18^th 2010. Three days after my 18^th birthday. I am a Vigil arrowman in the Order of the Arrow. I have served as senior patrol leaders for my troop at home and the NYLT troop. I have been Lodge Chief of the Order of the Arrow and have made a great many while being a part of scouting. It shaped my youth and made me into who I am today in a very big way. It continues to be a program in which my father is a leader and is in a lot of ways the way that he and I stay connected while I am off at school. I loved scouting while growing up but then I was ignorant and didn’t care about how hypocritical the organization is.

Here is what I mean. As of Tuesday the BSA for the first time ever is allowing homosexual boys to join the program. This is a monumental step forward to the organization being all inclusive and living up to its own Scout Oath and Law:

Law

A Scout is:
Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful,
Friendly, Courteous, Kind,
Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty,
Brave, Clean, Reverent

First of all we will talk about the Law. Every day of my life I try to live out this very same set of words. In regards to this I could say something about every part of the law that proves my point but I will only mention a few.

A Scout is Friendly. Is it truly in this part to say that I quit scouting because there will be gays there. A scout that follows this part would say I want to be friends with this group and make them feel welcome because that is the Friendly thing to do.

 A Scout is Kind. One who is truly kind will help all in need. Does it make sense that if a homosexual boy needs scouting to learn how to become man that he should not be allowed this same opportunity? How kind is it to say that you cannot come here because you are gay.

A Scout is Obedient. The national office made this a policy. They are your Masters and you will say I am not doing Scouting anymore because I don’t agree with them. If they allowed girls in how many of you would leave.

 A Scout is Brave. He doesn’t judge and run when he is scared. He says and sees it though because he is seeking to help others grow and be men.

 A Scout is Clean. He does not slander his brothers because he doesn’t agree that he should be in. He is clean in speech and thought. He does not judge others but welcomes them into his life so that he may help them in whatever they need but he does not decide what they need because that is not his place.

A Scout is Reverent. This does not say a Scout is Christian or Hindu or Mormon. It says a Scout recognizes that there is something much greater than themselves and becomes submissive to it. I will talk about this more soon.

Oath

On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country
and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong,
mentally awake, and morally straight.

On my Honor I will do my best:

 how much honor is there is quitting and saying I don’t want to do this because I don’t agree. This says that I have too much Pride to deal with this and therefore I have to quit. I have personally gone through Scouts my entire life not agreeing with this policy. I have accepted and finished my commitments.

To do my duty to God and my country:

First let’s talk about God. I am a Christian so I am going to approach this from that same angle. The bible in places does say that Homosexuality is a sin. It also says that it is like looking at Pornography, lustfully at women or any other sexual sin. It is not unforgiveable in the eyes of god. It is no greater than any other form of Lust. It is no different from when I used to look at Porn or when I catch myself lustfully looking at women at my campus. Show me one of you that is Perfect and you can throw the first stone at a Homosexual. We have become Pharisees and think we are perfect in the Law and know Gods plan for scouting and the rest of the world. But we are not, Jesus will come back and find us disgraceful and be sad because his death for to save all people lead us to our bigotry. He would not condemn us though. He died so that all could live. So why don’t we listen to him. When he is asked what is the greatest of the commandments “Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”  Matthew 22:37-38. This verse form James describes my point flawlessly.

            “9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.11Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” James 3:9-12.

Why are we so filled with hate of people that bear the image of God our Father and our neighbors? We forsake the most important commandments for the trivial laws in Leviticus. I challenge you to think about what your motivations are for your distain and hatred for these Brothers of yours.

            Scouting has done many great things for me in my life. But there is one thing that makes me regret ever joining more than the things I learned make me happy I did. Scouting had made me Homophobic and scared of all things different from myself. Though Christ I am becoming a whole loving human being.  Christ died so that all could live. It is your responsibly to open that kingdom up to all humans.

            In Christ’s Love

            Cyrus Schaaf

I have lots to say. Please message me on Facebook or Comment. Christ will answer though whatever you need to know. For that I know and have faith that this change is truly Gods will.

Here is more information on what happened.

https://www.scoutsforequality.com/

http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/23/us/boy-scouts-sexual-orientation/?hpt=us_c2

Newtonion faith?

I believe in Newton’s laws of motion. One an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by a force, the second being the force of an object in motion is related to the mass and the acceleration of the object, and finally for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. In a way our lives are objects and we are in motion. Moving around and hitting each other emotionally spiritually and physically. Everyone we come in contact with because imprinted with a small part of ourselves. Kind of like when you take silly putty and squash it on the newspaper. It is incredible how one small event can trigger a land slide of emotion and change in the individuals that were affected by it.

Be warned this is going to be a bit cheesy but still I think this is relevant to a lot of peoples experience. We all live according to Newtons 3 laws of motion. Our lives in their selves are full of motion, full of change, full of Force, we often don’t see how we impact and effect even the people in our own family. Here is what I propose. Human life progresses along Newtons 3 laws of motion.

I know profound right (sarcasm). Like I said bear with me. Ok so here we go. We will start from the back though to make this interesting. For every action there is an equal and reaction. We as a community of humans live in such close community and proximity that we cannot help but to effect the people around us. We talk to somebody every day, read and article, or post something on Facebook almost every day. It’s incredible how much social interaction that we need to survive. Where would you be without your MacBook iPhone with 5g speeds and the ability to socially connect with all of your friends in a matter of seconds? Honestly these days we would be lost without some sort of technology in our days. Trust me I know. I tried and lasted about the ten minutes it took me to take a shower. We take action that causes reactions on people we cannot even fathom. Like you reading this blog makes me happy and that makes me not complain at my roommate as much which makes him happy. So thank you. But back to the matter at hand. We are so connected that our words are actions that dramatically change how someone goes about their day or even their entire life. With one word like yes or no futures of entire families are changed. Once we realized this the rest gets easier. If we were to look outward to how we are affecting the people around us how much more of a happier place would the world be? Hunger could be gone, crime, heartbreak, and sin would be eradicated. It sucks that looking outward isn’t human nature doesn’t it?

This leads me to law number two. The force of an object is directly proportional to the mass and the acceleration of the object. Let’s say that for this analogy that mass and acceleration are much the same as ego and culture. We are often progressed by culture to be moving forward to increase our speeds. Do more things more often, party more, talk more and most importantly listen less. We spend all our time thinking about what we could say in a situation rather than spending our time thinking about what the other is saying. This can be attributed to the ego of some people. The bigger the ego the harder it is to stop the actions the progression that someone is trying to make. That ego of I have to be the one to help them, only my words can save this individual from doom often causes more pain than it helps. When you get to that point are you thinking that they would benefit from hearing this or will you benefit from saying it? Do you even listen to what they have to say? The answer is when I get in these moods no I don’t listen to whom I am trying to help. Why do we do have to act that way is often something that I ask myself. Can’t my driving force be Love and selflessness rather than my own pleasure and the dictated will of the culture? I am a force that is in motion with and increasing mass and a increasing acceleration. I just hit others and keep going about my same track of motion sometimes without any regard to the word around me. I ask you honestly if you were to look inward would you see a truly loving and selfless heart. I cannot say that I can.

There has to be a solution right? How are we to fix our selfish centers? That leads me to the first of Newton’s laws. An object in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by and outside force. We as a community get so bent on doing everything our way in our time line for our own purpose that we fail to see the pain we can cause people. Fail to see how our words will destroy a bridge to other groups or communities in general. We let our interpretations of the word get us on the wrong path to us into to hatred and the Dark Side (Get it? Because I was talking about Forces. See what I did there?). Where all we can see is what “I”: can do not necessarily what we are supposed to do. I am not saying this of everybody or even that it is happening now but just to keep it in mind. I feel that we can often get caught up in these self-righteous thoughts that keep us going on our same trajectory and motion. We need our outside force for change. We need God to come into our lives and change us. Provide us with an opportunity to better ourselves and really learn where our path should be taking us. Like a ball rolling off the table he is the only one powerful enough to push us back on course. God is the only one who has the clairvoyance enough to see how our actions will truly benefit his kingdom.

 So my main point is if today you are feeling closed off and stuck in your ways like a ball rolling on a frictionless surface pray and open yourself up to change because I know that I will be doing the same for myself. I cannot be the director of my life. That is a job for one that truly knows where he needs me to be. And I believe that if you are open to it Jesus will meet us where we are at and send us back on track. I am just glad that I know a God who will not make me figure it out on my own. Lastly imagine what the body of Christ can do when we all fill our part and walk with the same intention of love and salvation.

            With Hope for all of us,

            Cyrus Schaaf

Community with a Lack of Communication.

In the American social structure we are largely separated from groups and forced to do things on our own. It has been drilled into our heads though movies and grades that we are for all intensive purposes on our own. Movies where the main lines are “There can be only one” or cop shows where the main character says “I don’t do partners.” I am not saying that only these types of shows exist but they are the less cheesy ones and with super cool characters that take on the world. I like to think of the example Die Hard. Bruce Willas wants help but he doesn’t need it and whenever the police on the ground step in they do something stupid and almost get every hostage killed. Another example is when we are graded in school. We may do group projects but some teachers say that depending on the amount of work you do you will be graded appropriately. Classes in College are no better at propagating community. We are in competition with everyone else to beat the average and pray for everyone else to do poorly on the test to lower the curve. The fact of the matter is that we have been conditioned to thing that we don’t need anybody to help us in any aspect of our lives. America the Land of the Lone Wolf and the home of the do it yourself attitude.

            In reality we need people, we need community. A lot of times I feel that animals get this concept a lot better than we do. The honey bee colony knows that if you don’t do your job the whole group dies and most primates live in groups where they build tools and gather food for the females. Why is this so easy for all these species? We are humans, built for communications built for living together in cooperation and community. But we don’t do that, as humans we have evolved to using language and complex studies of others to communicate with them but a lot of people don’t even know their own neighbor. Our society dictates that we are individuals, and that we maintain that individuality no matter what or you are no longer considered a man. How many times do College age students end up in huge debt or crippling depression and don’t seek help? How does that turn out of them? Usually it ends up in an attempt to commit suicide. How messed up are we that the ones who are struggling, being attacked by culture, have to resort to an attempt on their life to get attention, to ask for help?

            We as a culture have gone wrong somewhere. The idea of living together working towards a common goal is not only beneficial it is necessary. In Genesis 2 it says “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.” Even before our fall before we think about committing sin we are in desperate need for this sense of community, and family. That is why so many church groups created small community groups. We were not designed to live alone like the wolf. In Ecclesiastes 4:10 Solomon says “If one falls down, his friends can help him up. But pity the man who falls and no one is there to help him up.” Basically my point is that if we join groups that are selfless and care for one another we will be stronger for it, we will have a platform to stand on and people to help lift our burdens, our debts, or our sins. Let us be like the penguins and help each other. Take burdens for one and other, and give our burdens to the group. Let us find groups in which we choose to trust with our whole lives, not just parts of it. And let us share with our friends and be truly selfless followers of Christ. And remember “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

 Faith is not done alone,

Cyrus Schaaf

My Secret Identity Is?

How many days of the week do I sit in my room reading comics thinking if only I could have spider powers or was really rich to be able to dress up like a bat and run around a city stopping crime. Wouldn’t that be the life? You get too hide behind a mask and are whoever you want to be. You can swing to roof tops and punch muggers but all in the end you cannot tell anybody who you are. That is what makes it bitter sweet. The secret identity, who you really are in situations you try to hide behind a mask of personality is what really kills relationships with  those you care about and really hinder that personal relationship with God.

            I have not really thought about identity and how it shapes your actions all that much until about a week ago. I figured out that my identity is not quite as I wanted it to be. I see myself as a gamer, science major, a son, and a thinker, who is a Christian. But see I figure that isn’t good enough. In a letter that the apostle Paul rights to the city of Corinth he says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” Basically this is saying that once you accept Christ into your life you are no longer who you were before. In high school I was rude, shallow, cynical, and just had a lot of excess anger from nowhere in particular. But I came to college and decided that following Christ isn’t just something you do as a child in Sunday school. I started to change after that, Get more patient and in all reality more intelligent. Being able to look at situations in different ways and trying to reason though the whole of the bible. I sought identity in being a wise and thoughtful person but not so much in Christ. It led to shallow faith and some large periods of basically crippling doubt. Don’t get me wrong I think doubt is what keeps us sharp as Christians but not the kind that I experienced. I stopped writing and lost all desire to learn more about who Christ was and who god wanted me to be.

            Identity shapes how we see ourselves and my identity needed a drastic change. I needed to not be a gamer, science major, or thinker who is a Christian, but a Christian who is all those things to.  I am not saying that we are to give up all we are to follow Christ, but we are called to open ourselves up to his plan and make our hearts available to change and our lives open to what he wants us to do. No matter where you are when it comes to faith I encourage you to take a look at how you identify yourself and see if that’s who you really need to be or even want to be because behind my Christian mask I was just going through the motions treating it like a class about how to live life rather than a lifestyle in of its self. We are not meant to hide behind masks and close our true selves off from the world like Batman but we are meant to live together with Christ and other people in full and deep relationships.

Following blindly is never asked for by God,

Cyrus Schaaf

2 Corinthians 5:17

Finals Week Love

The thing about being a college student is that I have no clue where any of my time goes. I feel like my first day of class was a week ago and now I am done with finals for the quarter. Life goes by so fast for the busy and the stressed. That is the thing about school. It has made me stressed beyond belief and takes up all of my time. I have no real clue how I even made it here and got to the end of the quarter. This being the hardest quarter of my life, I am actually surprised with myself at the piece I feel about it. I took 4 classes and ended with only 3. A lab, a hard lecture, and an English. The stress really kicked in this last month or so and I have times where I have felt utterly abandoned by God and completely empty of all ambition. I am here to tell you that I made it through one of the most unfortunate quarters and am sure that God did not abandon me in my trials.

For those of you who don’t know me I am fairly comfortable under stress. I can usually shrug it off and go about my day but this quarter was different. I had times I literally crumbled onto the floor unable to do any work or even move. I felt like I was fighting an uphill battle as I watched my grades slip deeper and deeper into the abyss even while I was studying like a mad man. I couldn't stop thinking about them and started losing sleep. And on top of the hardest quarter of my life two weeks before finals I get mono. It was the worst. I couldn't drink water without pain all I could do was lay in place unable to sleep or eat. I was just withering. I felt abandoned. Then at the height of my sickness my house prayed for me. I expected and wanted a miraculous healing but didn't get it. I didn't feel any different. I was disheartened and lonely. I felt isolated from the people I call friends. I felt abandoned by God. That night I went to my room and tried to pray and ended in tears. I was drowning in loneliness and helplessness. Then the next day I went to the health center complaining about my inability to sleep and eat. They gave me medication and sent me back home for rest. I was afraid to take the pain meds so I put it off for most of the day. Then I sat down to take them and prayed that I wouldn't have to use the acetaminophen coden and I didn't feel chilled anymore. I still felt pain but no fever; I felt hungry and was able to eat for the first time.

I am still recovering. Getting better every day but that moment that I prayed was when it all turned around. I don’t know how significant it is to all of you. But it was really significant for me. I felt all quarter that I was doing all of this alone. I felt spiritually dry a lot of the time but that moment made me feel that I wasn’t alone. That he was still watching over me. God works in interesting ways I have found through my last couple years really following him. I realize now that it was not that he was letting me suffer but was fighting against it. I am really thankful the sickness to be honest. It has helped me focus on studying this finals week now that I can actually function and I didn’t really miss that much school. I feel now that I am actually closer to God and started developing this weird desire to read the Bible.

Basically my story was meant to tell you that even though you may be struggling and feel alone while studying for finals God will help you weather you ask or not. Asking is just more effective than waiting. And if I can survive finals week recovering from mono then you all can do incredible. Just know that you are loved by me and most importantly God. He will direct you and provide for you even if you feel that he has left you.  When you look back on your life you will realized that God did not leave you in this time but it was here he carried you.

May the Force be with you,

Cyrus Schaaf

What came first the chicken, or the egg?

What came first the chicken, or the egg? This is not the first time I was asked about this little paradox but it has been a while sense I had truly thought about it. Just start by thinking about the complexities that this question had. Was a chicken just proofed into existence or did it come from something smaller, less complex? Is the chicken a metaphor for humanity? And if it is was the world brought into existence by an all-powerful father figure willing it to happen or by some means of complex random evolution? I know that that is a lot of questions to come out of one small 8 word sentence that we have been asked since first grade.

 Its confusing isn't it? When you sit down and really try to reason it out for yourself. In our little Christian bubbles a lot of us don’t really think about the scientific discoveries that can lead us to think about the poetic nature of the book of Genesis. Some individuals and communities tell fellow Christ followers that if you agree with the theory of evolution that, you are not a real Christian and will die in the burning lands of gnashing teeth. But can that really be a fair statement? Will I myself be condemned because evolution makes sense to me? Is being right in the argument between evolution and creation really important enough to stake your eternity on?

My thesis for this post is that whether you believe in creation or evolution it doesn’t really matter to God if you are right.

To me this issue is not an issue of spirituality but of tolerance. Does one idea of how God really created the world even matter. Does the strict belief in a Garden of Eden make me less of a Christian? Honestly if I am put in a community where I get attacked for thinking that evolution created humans is that really a loving community, just kind of how I feel right now over this whole thing.  Scientifically speaking there is plenty of evidence to support the Theory of Evolution. We have records of small scale evolution in Darwin’s experiments; there are distantly similar skeletons of what look like a growth from ape to human. The fact that our genetic make-up is 2% different than a chimpanzee and 50% similar to a banana says something about the commonality of life. As animals we have the same types of cells and the cells operate with many of the same proteins and many functions are the same. There is no way that I can discount any of these facts and just say that we are that way because God made Adam and Eve. That is too easy for me, to simple.

 People have been telling me that I cannot do this but I am going for it anyways. The God in Genesis basically makes the earth like a sandwich. He gets all the ingredients and then perfectly places them where he wants and how he wants them but one rouge piece of cheese decides they don’t want to follow the rules of the sandwich maker and the cheese ruins the world, I mean the sandwich. But how I see it is that God made us like a cake. He got what he needed, matter, and mixed it all together. Then he added energy or heat. And the cake rose and expanded and the world was formed. Maybe the cake is not all perfect, but its working towards perfection and is still pretty incredible.

Why is that so wrong? Why is that God couldn’t have gotten all of the matter in the universe together smashed it into a singlet and let it go? What makes it so that it is less amazing and awe-inspiring that God created rules like physics and evolution to create all the verity of plants and animals? It’s not at all less impressive, nor does a belief in creation effect my salvation.

Salvation is not earned by us looking into a book and deciding how we interpret the book of Genesis. It doesn’t matter if we are right about the creation of the world and it doesn’t matter if I don’t believe what everyone else does. My roommate told me once that “We are the Pharisees of our day.” We as a whole Christian community have not been showing the proper love and acceptance to the people that we supposedly outreach to. We hide behind a 774,746 word book and don’t even understand the whole point of it. Thus is the nature of humanity, we think that we are the biggest and best but we barely think about what we believe in. I am not saying I am any different. Many times I am the worst of these peoples and many times I get angry and hide behind my perception of reality. When the true fact of the matter is that I am flawed and I may be completely wrong but that is not a factor in if I will be saved when my time comes. What matters is that I believe in God and work towards my spiritual relationship with him. And I am so thankful that I don’t have be correct to be saved because then I would be stuck here worrying about, if I am a Christian that believes in natural selection, then am I a walking contradiction, or if I am going to be saved. And I am thankful that I serve a God that loves me and will take me even when I am wrong, and if he isn’t that way I would never had started following him.

To follow without love is missing the point,

Cyrus Schaaf