Is Suffering the Absence of God?

Does anybody remember a time that they thought their parents were Superheroes, Strong fast powerful loving and protecting. I for sure had that up until I was about ten and my father started coaching me in several sports. I quickly learned that he was not perfect and had a bit of a temper when it came to me listening. Granted I was a little distracted by the soccer ball at my feet and less capable at dribbling a basketball than basically everyone on my team. But still it’s in moments of suffering we tend to lose a lot of faith towards those we look up to the most.
I can say that I am no stranger to suffering. Most of it has been fairly minor but some has been just devastating. The freshest thing to come to mind is Monday. Tragedy struck my dorm that morning when a resident, whom was very much like me, a member of our community, fell from a window. It was so heart breaking to walk in to my home and hear about this awful event. I am still reeling from it. I don’t necessarily know what to think or even what to say, but I feel that my words can be helpful to some people who are struggling and the writing to be helpful to me.
When I walked in to my home the climate was dark, people were crying, some in shock, and I was devastated to see this look of sorrow on the faces of people I love. My first feeling was actually not sadness but anger. I thought questions about how does a good God do this to us. What possible purpose would this “good God” have with something this awful? I was so angry and had so much hatred for myself to believe in this God, to love this God that lets things like this happen. Then I realized that I myself was not being rational. I began to just pray for people around me, for my own anger, and for the fears that I was experiencing. All I was asking was for God to use me in order to show me I did not put my faith and trust into the wrong thing.
I wouldn’t say so much that a booming voice came down from the heavens but I for sure think that I was answered in more of a way of realization. I realized that through last Friday night gathering at Campus Christian Fellowship, a work day that I participated in on Saturday, and my churches Sunday service God had been preparing me to help the people around me. I just thought to myself ‘Wow, what a good God I have to prepare me for something you can never be ready for.’ Then I realized that this work is so important. People are struggling to find light, and hope. All I could do was just be there for those who were suffering and let them be there for me. I am truly grateful that we have a god that cares enough to prepare us for the worst. It’s weird because normally if I wasn’t talking then I didn’t think I was helping. I felt something growing here… a family, a true community. It is all still hard to think about and my heart is still heavy with loss. But I feel like this is where I am meant to be right now.
Well my main point of this post is that even though tragedy God is working in our lives. To be more specific I have a friend who keeps asking me “Why did this happen? How could God let this happen?” And I think this question is very important. Seeing as I believe God is one all powerful and two all loving I don’t quite understand either. How could a good God let a young man die? How could a good God not stop this from happening? I choose to rationalize it like this: Christianity is based on a choice. Let me explain. As a Christian I choose to let Jesus into my heart and trust him to guide me, well at least I try to. Whether or not you think he predestined the choice for you or you had to make it yourself that is a whole other can of worms, but it’s a choice none the less. Though this logic I can determine that there is a choice to every action. One from as small as what cereal to get in the Commons or as big as what you are going to believe in. God can send people into tell you what cereal to get or to bring you closer to him but in the end it is you who has to take the leap and poor yourself a bowl. And God being all knowing will have to prepare those around you for that choice you will eventually make.
I know how hard this time has been to all of us, and I know a lot of you are questioning your belief but I believe with all my heart that our God is a good God. So to answer my title question, Suffering is not the absence of God but the presence of the spirit moving our souls and shaping us to help those harshly affected by tragedy. And I will not say there is a reason for this tragedy but there will be comfort for those who are suffering, salvation for those who need it, because God is all powerful and all loving.
If you are looking for some scripture that could help you look at Romans 8:28. My roommate showed me. It’s just a little pick up if you are struggling in faith. Clearly not all of my thoughts on this could be contained onto this post so just come find me if you need to talk. Or comment and I will find you.
Just remember you are so Loved.

Following blindly is not following at all,
Cyrus Schaaf